The Art of Self-Love
Self-love is the core of happiness in or out of a relationship, and it took me a long time to realize it. Before that I was on a long journey of many relationship ups and downs— mostly downs. I wish I had a relationship coach back then to help me unlock the secrets of a great relationship!
When I had my realization I was living in a small village in the mountains in Spain, in what many would describe as Paradise. And yet, I wasn‘t happy even though I was in a loving relationship. Then I got sick and had to spend 10 days in bed, with no friends, no TV, no phone, and no Internet.
While I was sick there wasn‘t much else to do besides reflect on my life. I was in a relationship that was having some trouble so I decided to do some serious relationship analysis. First, I tried to find common themes among my failed relationships. Then I charted my relationship health and happiness over the years on a piece of paper.
Use A Pen To See The Light
Once I drew my chart, I saw that I was attracted to a certain type of man, and that I repeated patterns of dating men who were not my equals, intellectually and in other ways. Writing down what happened with my relationships over the years is what helped me see the light. This is one of the activities we help our coaching clients with. A past analysis of relationships is always very enlightening.
My most important discovery was that, throughout my life, the men came and went, family and friends came and went. There was always one person I could rely on in general and specifically for strength, support, love and understanding. That one person was…ME! It was an absolutely freeing realization that, as long as I loved myself, I would always be loved.
The Best Secret of Life
It was like an amazing new secret that I had with myself. This realization made me far less needy in my relationships. Now all love I received was in addition to the special relationship I was developing with myself.
Just like any relationship, you need to nurture it. Firstly, get in touch with yourself and stay in touch. A lot of people do this through meditating and journaling. It can be as simple as being present when you’re alone. Secondly, make sure you get some regular quality alone time. A solo walk is always a winner, just take the time to check in with yourself.
Now, when I‘m out somewhere and catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror, I smile or wink at the reflection; because, hey, it‘s me, and I love me!
Contact us to learn about how a Relationship Coach can help you discover the secrets of a great relationship and find the happiness you deserve.