How to Fix Your Relationship
Relationships are hard. There are a lot of emotions involved and it’s hard for us to look at a situation objectively. It’s normal to have strong feelings about our relationships. We usually have a lot of love for the person we are in a relationship with. And we sometimes have a lot of resentment and anger as well. But we also have a few other things going on like fear of being alone and our ego. That means we don’t want to admit that we made a mistake in choosing our partner so we sometimes avoid the harsh reality of our relationship. But this isn’t always the case. Sometimes our relationship just needs some TLC. Sometimes we need to figure out how to get out of our relationship.
Decide if Your Relationship is Worth Fixing
If you believe you’re with the right person and they make you happy that is great. Maybe you just need to fix a few things in your relationship. That’s the first decision-point, is this a relationship worth saving? It’s very difficult for us to have an objective view when we have a lot of emotional and financial ties. There might be tiny voice of doubt deep within you saying something isn’t right about this relationship. That tiny voice but maybe it’s getting drowned out by your fear. This is where relationship coaches come in handy. Relationship coaches can help you get clarity about your relationship and if it’s the right one for you.
Start with the Positives
Once you’ve decided that yes, beyond a shadow of a doubt, this is a relationship worth saving then it’s time to go to work. The first step is to make a list of all the positives things about your relationship and/or all thing things you love about your partner. You’ll need to refer to these and lean on them as you work through the tough stuff. When you and your partner disagree on a the path forward remind each other of why you want to be together. This list can be a very powerful tool.
Focus on What is Most Important
Now for the hard part, can you identify the top three issues that are facing your relationship. Deciding on the top issues will probably be a difficult exercise. After you have the top three, pick the one that is causing the most harm to your relationship, this will be your focused starting point. Often when we try to talk to our partner it’s hard to make progress when we have too many issues we are trying to solve. It’s difficult to be heard when we are voicing every issue we have.
Take Action in a Strategic Way
Talk to your partner, but have a plan before you do. You may want to start with why it’s an issue and what you think some solutions would be. Then have a debate about the pros and cons. You may want to set some ground rules for the discussion.
This sounds easier than it is. Many of our clients come to us to figure out if they should leave their relationship or fix it. Leaving a relationship is a huge decision and we have a proven process to help you through it.
Our relationship coaches can walk you through a structured process to help you identify the real issues in your relationship and help you think through some proven solutions.
Contact us to learn about how a Relationship Coach can help you find the happiness you deserve.